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| There Is Nothing Wrong with You: Going Beyond Self-Hate | 
| List Price: $12.00
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Avg. Customer Rating:  (based on 43 reviews)
Sales Rank: 17894
Category: Book
Author: Cheri Huber
Publisher: Keep It Simple Books
Studio: Keep It Simple Books
Manufacturer: Keep It Simple Books
Label: Keep It Simple Books
Languages: English (Original Language), English (Unknown), English (Published)
Media: Paperback
Edition: Revised
Number Of Items: 1
Pages: 264
Shipping Weight (lbs): 0.7
Dimensions (in): 8.5 x 5.5 x 0.8
ISBN: 0971030901
Dewey Decimal Number: 158
EAN: 9780971030909
ASIN: 0971030901
Publication Date: October 1, 2001
Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days
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Product Description
This book reveals the origin of self-hate, how self-hate works, how to identify it, and how to go beyond it. It provides examples of some of the forms self-hate takes, including taking blame but not credit, holding grudges, and trying to be perfect, and explores the many facets of self-hate, including its role in addiction, the battering cycle, and the illusion of control. After addressing these factors, it illustrates how a meditation practice can be developed and practiced in efforts to free oneself from self-hating beliefs.
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| Customer Reviews: Read 38 more reviews...
 In A Class of Its Own November 11, 2008
I am very pleased to see all of the powerfully positive reviews given about this book. And I concur with the best of them: This book has been life changing to me, it is my Bible, it is by far the best spiritual and Buddhist book I have read, (I think you get the idea now). And Cheri Huber is the best, most practical and realistic spiritual teacher I have come across. I consider myself a student even though I only met her once at a talk in Harrisburg, PA earlier this year.
In my personal experience as a committed Buddhist and Bodhisattva (Buddhist spiritual warrior), everything Cheri says in her book is absolutely true. It has taken some courage on my part to find this out for myself, but there is absolutely nothing, no past, current, or future thought, act, or experience, that is beyond the realm of or undeserving of compassion. Self-acceptance no matter what! Period !
Perhaps the only other ingredient here is self-honesty and a willingness to uncover and embrace our negative shadows. Do this as Cheri teaches, and these negative traits will, over time, just fall away. This is quite counterintuitive from what we have learned during our conditioned upbringing, and counter to the very toxic Judeo-Christian (and Moslem) notion that we are somehow broken and salvation can only come from outside of us.
A favorite passage ([...]) - "We do not need to beat, punish, chastise, berate, and belittle ourselves and we never did. THE IRONIC TWIST IS THAT PUNISHING OURSELVES IS WHAT KEEPS US FROM SEEING THAT WE DON'T NEED TO PUNISH OURSELVES. If we can ever become aware and willing enough to break the internal battering cycle and NOT INDULGE IN THE BEATING, we can begin to see how this is so. It takes courage and patience and faith in our inherent goodness."
Another wonderful quote I use for guidance [...] - "Everything you need to know will come to you in compassion".
I would like to make one recommendation that goes beyond the content of this book, however. If you have suffered from serious trauma such as abuse or abandonment during infancy, there will be elements in your psyche, often manifesting somatically (as distress or tension somewhere in your body), that will need other modalities beyond meditation and self-acceptance work to completely heal. Some of these modalities include somatic psychotherapies such as Hakomi ([...]) and Sensorimotor ("Trauma and the Body" by Pat Ogden, et al.) psychotherapy which can uncover and heal traumas that happened during preverbal times of you life, which insight meditation may not be able to reach.
Some other of Cheri Huber's book that I wholehearted recommend include: "The Fear Book", "There is Nothing Wrong With You For Teens". "Time-Out For Parents: A Guide to Compassionate Parenting", "That Which You Are Seeking Is Causing You to Seek", and "The Key: And the Name of The Key is Willingness".
I'd also suggest a couple of other Buddhist authors you might like to read: Pema Chodron (all of her several books are very good) and Tara Brach - "Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha". I find it interesting that my 3 favorite Buddhist authors are female: their books are just much more practical and earthy than any male Buddhist authors I have read (I admit there are a number male Buddhist of authors I have not read).
Pema Chodron talks a lot about approaching life as a Bodhisattva (Buddhist spiritual warrior). One of her major premises is following the natural ebb and flow of spiritual challenges and growth. A movement forward into new challenges and situations, the unknown, balanced with the ability to retreat, to nuture yourself completely with deep compassion when you decide not to venture forward. I find this approach very helpful for myself, you practice courage, but at other time you completely take yourself off-the-hook for any perceived limitations you have. With this approach there is always self-acceptance and you will find that you will naturally and almost effortlessly be willing to take on new challenges.
Tara Brach's book is a nice treatice an self-acceptance and gives instructions on some wonderful meditations (e.g., Lovingkindness; Self-compassion meditation) that can be helpful along the path of self-acceptance and acceptance of all things. But I find that Tara is a bit conditional when she discusses self-acceptance while Cheri Huber stresses complete unconditional self-acceptance. And, of course, Cheri is correct.
A must read book April 8, 2008
1 out of 1 found this review helpful
I have struggled with a strong Inner Critic for a very long time when I found this book. It is simple and straight forward and has been immensely helpful in breaking the pattern with my Critic. I have read it numerous times and keep returning to it for reminders and support. I highly recommend it to anyone who struggles with low self-esteem. It is not you. There is nothing wrong with you. This book will help you come to realize that Truth. Cheri's explanations are clear, understandable and based on deep knowing. I am grateful for her teachings. I have read Cheri's Fear Book and listened to her CD course Unconditional Self-Acceptance. All were helpful in breaking patterns of conditioning that keep me in bondage. Highly beneficial work!
One of Many March 28, 2008
This is another of Cheri Huber's practical books on how to live with Yourself. Free of religious and Diagnostic clutter, it offers a viewpoint which can alleviate the guilt so often encountered in one's search for happiness.
The premise that "nothing needs to be fixed" is almost completely missing in contemporary Psychology because of Medicine and Psychiatry's dogma of "Diagnosis First, Treatment afterwards".
There are many copies of Huber's books in my office lending-library, and my patients have usually found her style and viewpoint refreshing and useful.
Dorje
The best of new Buddhist teaching March 28, 2008
This book along with BEING ZEN by Ezra Bayda, FREE YOUR MIND by Anthony Stultz and BIG MIND by Dennis Merzel-represent the best of new teachers of
mindfulness in daily life. They offer us fresh and innovative perspectives on old teachings. You cannot go wrong-they will help you to change your life!
Life changing yet an easy read. March 25, 2008
Cheri Huber has a small masterpiece in this gem of a book. Unlike many self-help books I've read, Ms. Huber doesn't use it to grandstand, nor does she get bogged down in minutiae. The message is simple, clear, yet incredibly powerful.
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